• I am so sick. And so tired. Of trying and trying. I mean, what difference does it make? So what if I try. Does it look like it ever helps at all? Yeah maybe you don't care, but have you ever thought about how I felt about it, about giving it my all but still lag behind? Well just so you know, that feeling is horrible. I hate it and I don't see the point in trying or giving my best any longer.
  
  
• You know what, I think I should just give it all up. If nothing I do is gonna help, then maybe I'm just not suited for the whole thing, y'know? No point forcing me or saying that I have potential or whatever crap it is you tell me these days. I'm not falling for it again. Never. Ever. Why was I so foolish to stay behind when I could just leave all this while? All this commitment, all those tears I cried, nothing was worth it. And thanks for letting me know.
  
  
• When I don't try, it's because I've been trying all this while and whenever I do, nothing changes. I mean, I still don't make cycles. So what if I give my all? How long will I hold on? 50m? 100m? It doesn't make any sense at all to me. It's just so unfair. Look at others. They slack but still make time. I sprint but I miss cycles and for that, what do I get? A scolding. This whole one year plus I've spent with you, I've come to realise that I'm never gonna be as good as the others. No matter how hard I try. So obviously, I stop trying.
  
  
• And of course, I have people who run me down over there. Poking fun at me just because I don't make cycles especially when it's terribly EASY for them to. Saying that it's okay for them to lose to anyone, EXCEPT ME. Like hello?! Imagine how I felt when you told me that. Pushing the blame to me whenever you get scolded. "Oh, you were holding the same times as me? No wonder I got scolded! Wahlao!" So what you're trying to imply by saying that to me? That I'm the slowest person on earth so if you hold the same times as me, it means you were slow and that's why you got scolded? Haha, thanks alot man. I mean, that made me feel a whole lot better about myself. And of course, the irony of them saying "Eh later go slower kay? I pace you" and the next thing you know is that they do a 1.08 sprint leaving you behind at 1.15 pace.
  
  
• Oh yes, also coaches who don't understand me. Designing the same type of sets for every training session. Nice job. I mean, so it's like if I can't make the set for one day, I won't be able to make the set for like forever. Because the set is practically the same everyday. Wow, that helps. Alot. And you don't really care if I lag behind, do you? You don't even bother to encourage me. That's very nice of you. And just to inform you, you don't have to give up on me. Cause I've given up on myself already.

I'm done.