The post some of you have been waiting for.

Day 1 - 2 March 2008, Sunday
I kinda freaked out cause I reached the airport like, super early. Then I didn't know where to go, so I just stood at a spot looking like an idiot -.- Guess who I saw just then. ANDREI. He was lurking around the corner. I went, "Omg omg omg" and I stayed out of his sight until more people came (: Heh. We all just stayed around at the airport for about 2 hours. Then we finally boarded the plane.

I supposedly got the aisle seat, with Jules at the window and Caylee in between us. Not exactly my ideal seating partners, but since I figured I wouldn't have talked anyway, it'll be okay. Jules swopped seats with me. I know she was kinda making use of me but heck, I just agreed. I was fine with that arrangement until I found out that ____ was sitting in front of my initial seat! I was how sad lah ): I kept quiet the whole way and I just listened to my ipod. I felt so alone. The trip wasn't starting out great.

After landing, we immediately went to the pool to train. The pool was quite nice. Especially the public side. There were slides + lazy river + all the fun things that public pools have.. Well basically we trained quite a bit before leaving for the apartment.








^The pool

We made our way to the apartment after training and after moving into our rooms, I realised that my luggage got smashed when it was in the van. The cracks were really bad so I had to ask Jeff to help me buy some tape. I shared a room with 2 single beds with Tessa and Kate got the room with a double bed to herself. Our apartment had like, 2 toilets + 2 bedrooms + a kitchen + a dining table + a living room. It was pretty nice (: We had a tv in each bedroom, too.


^Cracked luggage


^My bed is the one on the right, Tessa's is the one on the left


^Overall view of the apartment room


^Kitchen


^Dining table


^Living room

Unpacked then out for dinner. We all walked to a restaurant and had dinner. Food was quite nice (to me, anyway). Team meeting at 8.30pm after dinner then watched a bit of tv then bedtime.

Day 2 - 3 March 2008, Monday
I woke up at like 7.30am in the morning cause I decided to go for morning training, unlike some others. (We could choose whether to train or not.) Only 7 from the team didn't go. The rest did. Swam a bit then back to hotel to shower and change. We were running late and we (Kate, Tessa and I) nearly got left behind by the van(s). Luckily we ran downstairs in time. Made our way to the cinema. I bought a cup of hot chocolate and one large cookie :D Haha. Watched The Bucket List. It was some movie about 2 very different people suffering from cancer who stayed in the same ward and became really good friends before they both died. The story was quite sad and touching, but I wouldn't have chosen it if it wasn't the only movie that suited our timing :/ Hmm.

Training again after movie + lunch. Back to apartment for shower then dinner at same place, just that this time everyone left dinner early to watch Shortland Street on tv. Lol. I watched a bit of it too. Got my nametag and club flag and programme booklet from Jeff. Team meeting as usual then I had a short talk about my event's pre-race + strategies etc with Gary before bed.

Day 3 - 4 March 2008, Tuesday
Day 1 of competition.

Up at 5.50am to get things ready for comp. Did my warm-up, got changed and soon I reported to the marshalling area. I was in the 1st heat of the 1st event of the 1st day. Usually, whenever that happens to me, I screw up big time.

Well, I did.

Swam a pathetic 5.02min for 400 free. I couldn't stop crying after that. I wanted so much to use this time's NAG to prove to everyone in my club that I deserved to belong to that club. I wanted them to know that I could be as good as anyone of them were. I wanted to swim well, and show them that I was one of them. I wanted so badly for them to accept me. I tried really hard, but it wasn't enough. It never is.

For the rest of the heats, I just stoned and I couldn't even smile. Not even when people tried to comfort me. Not even when Horst tried to make me laugh by doing stupid dances in front of me. Nothing worked. My tears seemed endless. Needless to say, I didn't make it to the finals so I didn't have any event in the evening session. Sigh :/

Imagine what they think of me now. "What a loser she is, she can't even qualify for a final when her PB is faster than mine."

Lunch back at apartment after shower. I took a nap till 5pm then left for the pool to watch finals. I was out of the 4 people who didn't make it to the finals. HPK was 3rd in placing after today's races. I was really comforted when Carsten tried to cheer me up -- at least someone cared.

I sat alone throughout the whole thing. Actually, I sat alone for every heat and every final. With my ipod, of course. But even my ipod didn't want me sometimes. It always left my hands to be in someone else's. I couldn't say no to people who wanted to borrow my ipod. I didn't know how to. Afterall, I really wanted them to accept me. Maybe if I were nicer to them, they'd be nicer to me too.

I don't think lending my ipod helped. I should've just said no right from the start.

Had snacks when we got back from finals at 9pm. Sushi, chicken drumstick and a wrap. Something to cheer my stomach up, at least.

100 free the next day. Went to bed before anything could get any worse.

Day 4 - 5 March 2008, Wednesday
Day 2 of competition.

100 free : 1.05.84
Again the tears pour.
& It's times like these that I want someone to lean on.

I don't remember much of what happened that day, because the above was all I wrote in my book. Must've been a bad day. Actually the whole week was bad. Ohwell doesn't make a difference then.

Day 5 - 6 March 2008, Thursday
Day 3 of competition.

I convinced myself not to cry anymore even though I knew I was going to have horrible races for the rest of the competition. What's the point of crying again and again and again when you know it's not going to get any better, right?

200m free today. I teared a little when I was at a loss of what to do after warm-up. I felt so not up to 200 free )': Gary gave me a short talk. After that, I thought, "What the hell, I'm gonna end up doing a 2.30."

I swam beside Liz, and honestly, it was nerve-wrecking. Afterall I wanted to badly to try to fit in with the team, yknow? In the end I swam 2.25. Liz did a 2.23. Wasn't that bad a swim, I guess. But after my race, I felt like I could've done better, which sent me on a guilt trip ):< No tears though; I'm so grateful for that.

I was quite cheerful for the rest of the day, so I cheered for people at finals for a change. I was happy when swimmers from HPK did well (: Although I know none of them gave a shit about me, I still cheered for them as if they were my best friends.


^Corey in the middle with his gold!


^Lance carrying Harris for some weird reason


^Ewan and Alex with theire medals (They're the ones in black shirts)


^Cameron, with drawings on his back that has a picture of a banana and says: DNT TOUCH WAT YOU CNT AFFORD

Actually, when I don't think about how I did in my races, I started enjoying this trip a little. I felt mistreated and made use of by certain people though. Like how I always had to clean up their plates + leftover food after they had lunch/dinner at my room. Maybe if I didn't get along with them, it would be their loss, not mine. Hmm :/

Today Lance went crazier than usual and put a banana skin on the Northshore swim team van. Someone had already put a banana skin on the windscreen but Lance just had to add one more -.- Some people are just plain retarded. Lol.

Back in apartment after finals and watched Stranger Than Fiction. Lights out after that.

Day 6 - 7 March 2008, Friday
Day 4 of competition.

Those who didn't have events + those who had events only in the later part of the morning went to the beach instead of sticking around at the pool to wait for time to pass. Damn, the beach was bloody beautiful. We "did our warm-up" at the beach and just played around until 8.30am. Then we went back to the pool.


^Sunrise (:




^The playground by the beach


^My favourtie pic. That's Kate in the picture.


^Bouquet of flowers by the sea


^Memorial plates along the bridge thingy


^View from where I stood


^Surfer dudes out at 8am in the morning


^The rest of the team by the beach


^Another beautiful pic of sunrise (:


^Some fishing guide thingy








^Scenery (:


^A funny pic of Cameron doing his side steps :D


^David and Corey


^Stefan and some others at the back


^HPK team (not completed)

I warmed up at about 9.30am for 50 Back, then changed and rested for my event. There was 100 Back for the guys before my event. Some heats had already been swam, and I was like wondering, "When the hell was I supposed to report?" Cause usually Tracy/Jeff will call you out when it's your time to report.

Suddenly, Tracy went, "OMG, Alyssa, you have to run to the other end of the pool. NOW. You're late for your event." I was like !()*&^*%$ WTF and I sprinted all the way to the other end of the pool, only to find people from my heat already standing at the blocks, ready to get into the water. Thank God I made it in time!

In the end I did a PB of 35.6 (the only PB I ever did in NAG 08). It isn't that good a time, if you compared it with other people but heck, I'm still glad.

When I came back, I found out from Tracy that I was late for my event because Jeff had forgotten to highlight my name. Hahah then I had an idea to trick Jeff (Cause he had sent some swimmers back to the apartment while I was swimming, and had no idea he nearly caused me to miss my event). I suggested to Tracy that we could all put on an act and tell Jeff that I had missed my event and it was because he didn't highlight my name! ROFL.

So Gary played along too, and he sent Jeff a text message, saying "Alyssa missed her event. Name not highlighted." HAHAHA Tracy, Gary and I all cracked up thinking about how Jeff would react when we got back to the apartment. We had it all planned out. I had to act sad and all, and Tracy would cover up for me. Heh.

When I went into Jeff's room to get my lunch, Cameron and Carsten and Jeff were all sitting on the couch watching tv. This was what had happened.

Jeff:
So, did you get a PB?

Me:
(Confused. I didn't know he knew that we were tricking him.)
(Remains speechless.)

Carsten:
(Looks at me and says)
He's talking to you.

Me:
I know.

- Awkward pause -

Me:
Jeff, what did Tracy tell you?

Jeff:
How was your swim?

Me:
Jeff, did Tracy tell you anything?

Jeff:
No.

Me:
(Even more confused. What the hell was going on!? Did he know or did he not know!)

Jeff:
Gary spilled the beans.

Me:
OH, DAMN!!!!!!

Jeff:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You know when I received his text, I felt so sick and guilty!?!

Me:
HAHA serves you right! Who asked you to forget my name!?

Then I took my lunch, said, "Thanks Jeff" and then I left the room. Hahahah stupid Gary ):<

I think that was the main highlight of the day, cause I didn't exactly write anything else in my book. Except for the fact that David and I were both high during finals that day. We kept laughing and talking about stupid stuff. He was the only one who talked to me for more than 10 sentences per day. He's my really good friend now (: Yay.


^David with the huge HPK hat covering his head. He asked me to take this picture of him ROFL.


^Everyone say hi to Caylee


^That's Harris


^Don't ask me what Liz was doing back then


^Smiley Shannon


^Andrei looking confused (?)

Day 7 - 8 March 2008, Saturday
Day 5 of competition.

I had 50 free. I swam 30.65. Terrible swim. I couldn't move at all. I fought back the tears so I didn't cry in front of everyone.. Which was good. My heart was bleeding so badly inside though. It felt horrible to keep it inside. "Oh well, what the heck, so I had another bad swim, that's all" that's what I thought.

Then later at night during finals session, Anonymous (Don't wanna mention names) swam her 50 free finals and she did 27.85. I watched her swim. She practically breathed every 2 strokes. AND, she wasn't a freestyler. She was a breaststroker.

Apparently her timing won her a GOLD for 50 free. I immediately had to run out of the pool (it was indoors) to cry. It was just SO UNFAIR! She didn't train freestyle, and whenever she did, I ALWAYS won her! Shouldn't I deserve the 27.85 more than she did!? SHE ALSO BREATHED EVERY 2 STROKES while I only took 4 breaths throughout my whole 50 free!

WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T SEE WHY I DESERVED ANY LESS THAN SHE DID! I mean, I've worked so much harder than her! I train full 10 sessions a week; she trains only 8. I never go to the toilet to skip a part of training; she always does that. AND THIS IS HOW I'M REPAID?! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! I spent the rest of that finals session running outside to cry whenever I thought too much about it. I was so so so so so upset.

Back at the apartment after finals, I had to tape up my luggage because it literally fell apart. My luck had been really bad, hadn't it. Dinner at Lone Star and most of us had ribs! Omg it was damn nice! (: Didn't really talk much (except to David) so we were back at the apartment by 12.30am. Bed after that cause we had the morning flight the next day.


^What we usually do while waiting by the pool


^Jeff, Jay (sp?), Horst, Gary and Tracy! :D


^Team photo
From left to right:
1st row (bottom): Michelle, Rachel, Renee, Jules, Corey
2nd row : Tracy, Alex, Emma, Caylee, David, Andrei, Stefan, Horst, Gary
3rd row : Jeff, Liz, Shannon, Kate, Tessa, Me, Carsten, Lance and Jay (below Lance)
4th row (top): Herman, Ewan, Cameron, Swimming NZ sign, Harris

Day 8 - 9 March 2008, Sunday
I ended up sitting with Tessa & Liz on the plane back. Again, no one talked to me. At all. It was a silent ride. Liz wanted to borrow my ipod (again) and I said okay (again..) She asked if it was really alright if she borrowed it. I said yes. Then I think she suddenly realised that if she borrowed my ipod, I would have nothing and nobody. So she felt really bad and she changed her mind. I thank her for that. My ipod was all I listened to the whole way.

When we landed, everyone met their parents immediately but my parents were nowhere to be found. I got my luggage and it got cracked even more so I walked around aimlessly with a terribly cracked luggage trying to look for my parents.

My nz phone had ran out of $$ so I couldn't call them. Thank God David was still there and he offered to lend me his phone to call my dad. I had to walk outside to look for them. I was really upset at how horrible my week had been, so I angrily slammed the door(s) of my car in front of my dad and my club manager (Jeff). I started crying like hell the moment I stepped into the car.

My dad then scolded me like hell about my behavior at NAG and my behavior in front of Jeff. He said he was really embarrassed blah blah blah and then he scolded me about me not working hard enough and that I deserved what I got during NAG. I kept crying until after I got home. I swear, I will do better at the next competition, whatever it is. I swear I'm gonna prove to everyone in my club (especially all the girls who look down on me) and my parents that I know what I'm doing in my life. I swear I'll make it one day.

--
That's the whole story of NAG 08. The next time I travel with the team, I'm gonna make sure I'm actually part of it, and that I'm not just something invisible that no one can see.

First step is to try training harder. Will I fail before my foot lands on the ground? We'll see about that.
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